What If's

sometimes i wonder "what if" for hours upon end, thinking things would be better then. Do you think we wouldnt live in sin... if all those "what if"s were "what did"s? would i be happier if things went a certain way? how come all those times i feel like i have found someone that i never wanna take my eyes off of they end up leaving me feeling alone and if possible, even more empty? like i was the one that did the wrong doing? or sometimes i think, what if i had NEVER joined the army straight out of high school? would i have eventually? would i still become the person i am today regardless? or would i still be scared of life and doing anything risky? there are so many things that i think about and so in truth i cannot say that i have no regrets. i have too many and the worst part is, i cannot change it nor do i try.